Does that seem right to you?

I actually used the Spell Check feature for that last entry. Does it seem right to you that the Blogger.com spell check doesn't recognize the word "blog?"

TV Update

I watch way too much television. I try not to impose that on my fair readers. I've decided to add a weekly (or close to weekly) update on the things I'm watching - what was good and what was bad.

My Recommendation: You really should be watching "Digging for the Truth" on The History Channel, Mondays at 9. It is an awesome show. The host explores mysteries from history that no one has been able to solve. In truth, he isn't able to solve them either. But he presents whatever evidence or theories exist and let's you have fun watching him run around. Last night he explored America's Pyramids. (I didn't know America had pyramids.) One of the most interesting things that happened last night...the host was almost killed by fire ants. That sounds sad, but he was just bushwhacking in Louisiana when he was attacked by tiny fire ants. He was able to give himself enough "epi" (whatever that is) in the field so that he could make it to the hospital. The ER docs said if he had not done so, he would have died on the way to the hospital. Now that's good TV.

Personal Favorite: As I recently informed you, I love "Stargate SG-1." There was a recurring guest character on the show a few years ago who was a personal favorite. Unfortunately, even though he was popular with many fans, they felt the need to kill him off. Two weeks ago, they finally found a way to bring his character back through the "science" of alternate realities. I couldn't care less that no such thing exists - it gave me a chance to see Martouf again and that's all that matters. I was beside myself with joy.

Best Line: Last week on "Boston Legal," the Alan Shore character uttered one of the funniest lines I've ever heard on episodic TV. At the end of each episode, Alan Shore (James Spader) and Denny Krane (Bill Shatner) sit together on Denny's terrace and discuss the events of the week/episode. During that particular episode, Spader and Shatner had not had many scenes together. So when Alan Shore walked onto the terrace and saw Denny, he said, "There you are. I haven't seen you much this episode." It was so unexpected for him to acknowledge that this is a TV show. I love it when writers or actors break the fourth wall. This was the best example I've seen of that in a long time.

Best Tribute: I love to watch awards shows. But I usually hate to sit through whatever Lifetime Achievement award they give out. However, that was not the case during the "SAG Awards." They honored Shirley Temple this year. She's led a pretty fascinating life. It's amazing how young she was when she started. I thoroughly enjoyed watching them review her films and her life. Her speech wasn't that interesting, but that's not exactly what she was known for.

Worst Snub: Joaquin Phoenix did not win for "Walk the Line" at the "SAG Awards." They gave his award to the dude from "Capote." Maybe he did a good job, but I really wanted Joaquin to win. Reese won, but I'm partial to Felicity Huffman even though I didn't see her movie - I just like her. I was happy that the dude from "Cinderella Man" won for supporting actor - that was a phenomenal movie.

Most "Meh": "American Idol" usually gives me lots of blog fodder. But so far it's been pretty "meh." Some good singers, some atrocious ones. Simon is strangely nice to some people and unaccountably rude to others. Paula and Randy are consistently bland. Hopefully it will get more interesting once the real competition begins.

Gratuitous Gratuities

Earlier in the month I was at a trade show in Orlando. It's a really big show so there's lots of coordination between the hotels and convention center. In fact, the convention assigns each attendee to a hotel as they register. The convention also arranges for shuttles to get you back and forth from your hotel to the center.

These shuttles are buses on loan for the week from any transportation company they can find: airport shuttles, private bus rentals, even Disney buses. Obviously the driver is paid to do his job. His job is not terribly demanding. He's got a route and he just has to run that route on a regular basis all day, like a MARTA driver.

So why does he expect...and then GET...tips from people? Do you tip the MARTA driver? It's not like this guy was helping me with my luggage - there was no luggage. He was driving a simple circuit. He didn't perform any special service for me. I was shocked that people were tipping him. Maybe I could accept it if I'd asked him to do something special for me. But I didn't. I just don't get how we're obsessed with tipping for jobs that people are paid to do. Naturally, the driver WANTS to be tipped, but that doesn't mean that we SHOULD.

Am I crazy?

where it is?

dare it be.

For Posterity

"As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. Well, really, that's all this is. Except that instead of sucking water, I'm sucking life. I've just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you. So, let's just start with what we have. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest -- how do you feel?" - Count Rugen, The Princess Bride

One third of my life has been sucked away by work. Today is officially my 11th anniversary. (Congratulations on figuring out that I'm 33, by the way.) Perhaps it is even more interesting that I've spent all 11 years at the same company. We're not supposed to do that in this day and age. We're not supposed to have company loyalty. People don't hire on young, work their way up and then retire from the same company. So it's funny to me how many coworkers I deal with on a daily basis that are on their way to doing that with this company. I can name at least three people I work with daily that began here right out of college and are well into their double digit anniversaries.

Anyway, for posterity's sake, my posterior is killing me - too much sitting at this job. My massage therapist is always getting on to me about walking around more. I just can't do this job while walking around.

Pack Ratting the Rat Pack

I recently downloaded some software to catalog my collection of DVDs. I went through my whole collection and entered them into this software. The result? 161 sets of DVDs. Sound high? Just wait until I explain the concept of "set."

I entered the DVDs as I purchased them. So one season of Stargate SG-1 is one entry, but it is really 5 DVDs. The same goes for sets of movies. I have one set for Bing & Bob's "Road" movies. It is one entry in the database, but contains 4 movies. I also have several DVDs of older movies that contain 2 movies.

The upshot is that I have more than 161 movies and more than 161 actual discs. Sad? Maybe.

Anyway, what have I learned about my taste in movies? Let's analyze.

I have 13 entries featuring Bing Crosby. Bing is definitely a victim of the 2 movies per disc problem. I think the number of movies I own featuring Bing is actually over 20. But we knew that I love Bing, no surprise there.

The next biggest group of actors are the cast of Stargate SG-1. Also not surprising since I own all 8 seasons of that show. Perhaps you didn't know that, though.

Mr. Adam Baldwin comes in third with 6 entries. Who? You've probably seen him in lots of stuff, but just don't recognize his name. I actually met Adam at the one Dragoncon I attended. He was a nice guy. Oops, I just realized that his total should be 7 entries. I have a burned DVD copy of a made for TV remake of The Poseidon Adventure that he was in a couple of months ago.

There's a huge lump of people at tied with 4 entries a piece:

Dorothy Lamour and Bob Hope (again, these figures should be higher)
Tom Hanks
Leonardo DiCaprio
Christian Bale (this should be higher, he's a personal favorite)
Robert Sean Leonard (I was pleased to see this so high, I like him)
Hugh Grant (another favorite, there are a couple of edited movies of his I'd like to add)
Tom Wilkinson who? oh, him
Alan Tudyk (gaining ground in my esteem)
Johnny Depp (though I like him, I was surprised he was this high)

Perhaps you'll notice that list doesn't contain any ladies (except Dorothy Lamour and she's just a tag-a-long from the "Road" movies). Hmm. So who are my highest ladies? They begin with 3 entries:

Drew Barrymore (sure, I like Drew)
Julia Roberts (actually, she should be higher)
Sigourney Weaver (I wouldn't have guessed that)
Alfre Woodard (cool)
and the two ladies from Star Trek: The Next Generation (that's a no brainer)

OK, so that's the break down on actors. What's the break down on genres?

I am actually surprised to find that Dramas (66) outweigh SciFi (35) almost 2 to 1. Those figures may be a little misleading because movies belong to multiple categories. So a movie like Contact falls into both categories. It may be more interesting to note the most poorly represented genres in my collection:

Silent (1) - College, my only Buster Keaton movie
Late Night (1) - Chain Reaction. What does that mean? I'm fixing that.
Sport (1) - Sports Night, this is actually wrong. Remember the Titans and Radio should also be in this category
Romantic Comedy (1) - Well, that's just wrong.
Horror (1) - This one's a hoot! It's my 1936 version of Flash Gordon: Space Soldiers. Horror? Hardly.
Documentary (1) - My Date with Drew. One of my newest favorite movies.

One of the things that surprised me most was that I only own one movie featuring Li Gong. Again, who? She's one of the most brilliant actresses ever. Only, you've never heard of her because most of her films are in Mandarin. She worked with one of my favorite directors for a long time, Yimou Zhang. Yes, he's Chinese, too. The unfortunate thing about him is that he is finally making movies for American audiences. And I have no desire to watch any of these new movies. But I still love most of what he did in Hong Kong.

I should create a category called Unseen. I like to pick up movies from the dollar bins at Walmart and Target. All of them are old, some are cartoons and TV shows. I still have not seen many of those. I'll make that update and let you know the results later.

imdb me

I haven't told you about my fun experience at The Masquerade last month. Well, I told you a little, but not all.

My friend has a video production company. She bought a really swanky camera and will use it to shoot all kinds of things. Her husband is my friend that's in a band. Four bands were playing at The Masquerade one evening and her husband wanted her to film their performance. He also thought it would be a good idea to film all the bands. They even arranged for another friend to record the audio.

The really cool thing is that she asked me to run the second camera. It was just a little hand-held camcorder, but still...

I showed up and did my best. I mostly filmed from the right side of the stage. I tried to get interesting shots, but a lot of what I filmed was repetitive. One of the shots I can't wait to see could be fairly neat. The Masq has mirrored columns. I found myself standing by those columns, so instead of pointing the camera at the stage, I filmed the bands in the mirror. Like most of the decor in The Masq, the mirrors are not perfect. They're a little warped. I had some fun filming through that effect, making it look like a funhouse mirror. This was particularly fun to do on the lead singer. I squished his head and made his body look really long. (You have to know the guy to get how funny that is. I was actually giggling while filming that part.)

I don't know if she's been through the footage yet. I can't wait to see what comes of it. Hopefully she will edit it into something really cool. At the very least, I'll get a copy. And if she does credits, which I'm sure she will, I will have a DVD in my collection that lists me as Second Unit Camera Operator. Woo to the Hoo!

Roomie Update

So, it's been almost a week since Roomie moved in with me. Let me walk you through some of my reactions.

Roomie likes to cook. He uses an average amount of pots and pans when he does so. He does not necessarily put those into the dishwasher immediately after using them. I have been cleaning up the kitchen after him. Each time I've done it, I've wondered if I'm "enabling" him. But so far, none of the "messes" have been a big deal and I genuinely have not minded doing it.

This morning I knew that he had come home after me the previous night. I did not make a point of switching our cars around. I went to bed thinking that I'd have to do it in the morning. So I was very pleasantly surprised to find that he did it at some point yesterday, perhaps even when he got home. It looks like he has noticed that I'm doing little things for him and he's returning the favor.

I was also very happy to see that he had cleaned up after himself today. He put his dishes in the dishwasher on his own. He didn't stack them correctly, but I can deal with reordering them.

To top things off, he even cleaned out the microwave which had gotten pretty dirty as some of his reheatings exploded. BONUS!

I'm interested to see if all this consideration continues after the first month or so. Let's find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real.

Hump Day Photo

Here's another personal favorite that I don't often feature. (Maybe it is a favorite because I haven't looked at it thousands of times.) This is a simple shell in the sand on Tybee. Graceful. Serene. Solitary.

E Nun See Ate

Need sleep. Seek Zees. See sheep. Feel fleece.

Livin' The Lonely Life No More

My cousin moved in this weekend. He dropped his stuff off on Saturday and then officially moved in on Sunday. I wasn't feeling well either day, so I was more dubious about this idea than I'd hoped to be. I think it will be fine, but only time will tell...

Phone. He had more phone conversations yesterday evening than I've had all month...except for him calling me.

Parking. We have to figure out how to make the car situation work. I have a two car tandem garage. The rules of my neighborhood association say that all vehicles are to be parked inside the garage. If you have a third car, it can then be parked in your driveway. Under no circumstances is a car to be left in the visitor parking across the street for a period longer than 24 hours. A guy four houses down from me refuses to park anywhere but the street...and not the street in front of his house, either. I'm not going to complain about Mr. I Can Park Anywhere I Dang Well Feel Like, mostly because I know my builder Job is aware and annoyed about the situation. Regardless, I'm not going to get us in trouble by doing the same thing.

Since I leave before Roomie in the morning, I need to be the back car. But then I will get home before him so I will be the front car. Every night we're going to have to shuffle the cars around. Does anyone have any good ideas? I guess I could park on the street until he comes home. But again, I don't want to do anything to annoy my neighbors. (And parking on the street is hazardous because there is still construction going on.)

Food. He cooks. I don't. I haven't been to the grocery store in a while, so it looks like I don't use my cabinets. I have two lazy susans in my kitchen that are great for storage. He looked at one and said, "Since you don't use this one, do you mind if I use it?" Uh, it's not that I don't use it, I've just eaten everything that was on it. My freezer is now full, but not with my food. My frig has more than just film in it. I need to get to the store. If I see him eating, I'm going to want to eat and I don't want to eat his food. I always hated it when my last roommate ate my food. But she would open a restaurant take-out container and eat my left-overs. Even if we were sharing groceries, that is a BIG no-no. Am I right?

Storage. I have to find a place for the few things I was storing in his closet. It was junk like old sweaters that are just a little bit too small for me. If I lose a little bit of weight I can wear them again. I guess the question is Will I wear them again? I really liked them at the time, but do they match my style now? And if so, should they or do I need to update my style? Anyone want some big old-ish clothes?

UGA. Roomie is a BIG UGA fan. I considered getting a Tech flag to hang outside my house just for his benefit but found out that it is against the neighborhood covenants. I wasn't surprised to see him lug in a couple of pieces of Georgia memorabilia. I ushered them right up to his room. He can keep that ugly stuff in his room. But I got suckered into letting him keep one hideous piece out in the living room. It's a plaster statue of the UGA dog, excuse me, dawg. It's painted with the Georgia colors and yadda yadda yadda. So why did I grant harbor to that hideous beast? It was painted by "Uncle David."

How do I explain David? First, I'll try to explain the family connection. You try to keep up. My dad is #5 of 11 children. Sister #6 has two daughters. #6's first daughter, 06.01, is the mother of Roomie, making him 06.01.01. #6's second daughter (06.02) married David, making him 06.02h (h is for husband). (If you keep up with the nicknames I use, 06 = Talks with Phone at Ear. 06.01 = My Biggest Fan. 06.02 = Bobsey Twin #2.) Moving on to sister #11 (Let Me See You Do That), she married a man from a local family that our family had always known (Papa Bear or 11h). As often happens in small cities (and big families), 06.02h and 11h were brothers. (I know you've heard of brothers marrying sisters, but in this case two brothers married an aunt and a neice.) So David was uncle to the children of sister #11, my cousins. He was also brother-in-law to my cousin 06.01 and since he was married to my cousin, I considered him to be my cousin (they were married when I was fairly young). He was also uncle to Roomie because he married his aunt (06.02). Got it?

I am obviously using the past tense for a reason. David died a little over a year ago. He was one of the most wonderful persons I've ever known. He was the most perfect example of a Renaissance Man. He painted, drew, played drums, worked on cars, worked on houses, worked on jets, danced, loved life and people. Everyone who met him simply adored him. He was an amazing man.

And that is why Roomie gets to put his hideous little dawg in my living room...because it will be a daily reminder of David.

Pseudo Hump Day Photo

I'm really proud of this shot. I went to Seaworld over the weekend with my sister's family. Like an idiot, I forgot to take my camera with me. I thought Seaworld would be more like a traditional theme park and not provide me with much opportunity to get interesting shots. So I was stuck shooting with my sister's digital camera (horror of horrors!). At the dolphin show, I put the camera on "Sports" mode to capture the fast moving action. I waited for the little buggers to leap and twirl and flip. I captured a lot of images of splashes as the dolphins reentered the water. D'oh! So finally one time I could see the "false" killer whale (pseudorca crassidens) underwater heading for the middle of the tank. I knew it was gonna do something big because a trainer had gone underwater with the thing. I focused on where I thought they'd appear and clicked the shutter as soon as they broke the surface. This is the resulting shot. The background makes her hard to distinguish, but there is a woman up in the air just above the snout of this beast. I'm annoyed that I cut off part of the tail, but very pleased that I got this kind of shot with digital. (Of course, if I'd had my camera with me, I'd have gotten all kinds of good shots.)

Hump Day Photo

This photo was taken near my office - not in Ireland. :-) The airport has repurposed most of the land around my office. There used to be some streets with little old houses that I used as a shortcut to get into the back of our office "park." After the airport tore down the houses, but before they removed the street, they put up fencing to mark off their territory. One morning I was driving along this depressing road and noticed these Morning Glories fighting back against progress. I had to photograph their silent rebellion.

And what do ya know, I posted on Hump Day?!

American Expressing

American Express is running a pretty cool ad campaign right now. I know you've seen the commercial with Kate Winslet where she talks about all the roles she's done. The magazine ad is a questionaire filled out by a few different celebrity-types. I ripped out the questionaire from a magazine at my last doctor's appointment so that I could answer these questions on my blog. If you feel like sharing your own answers, please do.

My Name: Horse N. Buggy

childhood ambition: To entertain people. It didn't matter how - singer, actress, magician - I put on all kinds of shows for my family. I lived to make people laugh and clap. I used to create commercials in the bathtub. I'd notice grime under the tub faucet, talk to my invisible audience about how difficult it was to keep that clean, get out the miracle cleaner I was "selling" and wipe the grime away to the astonished oohs and aahs of my imaginary audience. (Is that sad or what? I couldn't have been more than 4 when I was doing that.)

fondest memory: Walking into my cousins' house after the long car ride up to Savannah from South Florida. They'd been waiting on me all day and ran to attack me as soon as I walked in. It was an incredible feeling that someone liked me enough to be crazy happy just to see me.

soundtrack: This one is hard. I like so many different artists. If I go back to my first favorite song, it would be Bingo. If I go to my newest favorite it would be something from The Edison Project. In between those two you'll find Barry Manilow, Duran Duran, Bing Crosby, World Party, Garth Brooks, Jeff Buckley and several others.

retreat: My imagination. I could answer something continental like the ruins of Puxley Hall in Ireland or something more local like "Uncle Tom's" place in Key Largo. But the truth is that even in those places, my imagination keeps working, making them more enjoyable. In historic places I think about what kinds of people have been here before me. In picturesque places I think about what it would be like to live there year write a novel. My imagination is always my retreat, the physical place I'm in is just a better backdrop than my home or office.

wildest dream: Literally? The one where my family had to attend a formal dinner. I was jealous because my sister and cousin were seated next to Wolf Blitzer while I was stuck next to Gallagher. Figuratively? To be loved.

proudest moment: When my application to pioneer was approved.

biggest challenge: Being content.

alarm clock: Is set way too early for 4:30 and allows me to hit snooze way too many times.

perfect day: I'll let you know when it happens.

first job: Food runner at a seafood resterant.

indulgence: TV and chocolate.

last purchase: Does a toll road count? No? Lunch at Wendy's - spicy chicken sandwich and a medium frosty.

favorite movie: Of all time? The Princess Bride. Recently? My Date with Drew.

inspiration: Pop culture. I love parody.

my life: Is fairly boring.

my card: Is American Express, of course.

D'oh!

So, it turns out that my friend from the band is reading this here blog. (I guess he's been lurking until I forced him to defend his honor in a comment.) I want to clarify what I meant about liking The Edison Project more than Buffalo Alice.

Some of you old blog readers will remember how much I raved about a band called G.B Fuzz. G.B. Fuzz was made up of four members: Buffalo Bass, his wife Drummer Chick, her cousin Lead Singer Prima Don and non-related Lead Guitarist. I loved their music to the extreme. Now this new Buffalo Alice consists of: Lead Singer Prima Don, Buffalo Bass and a drummer that I don't know. They changed the sound of their songs quite a bit. And I really miss the other two members of G.B. Fuzz. The music is still good, but it's not the same. And they don't claim to be the same.

I was trying to think of a musical metaphor, some band who'd changed singers or line-ups and gone on to continued success but divided their fan base into pre and post changers. Genesis comes to mind - when they changed from Peter Gabriel to Phil Collins, but I don't feel strongly enough about that change.

Instead, I thought of what Lucas has done to Star Wars. He's gone back and edited the original film to make it look like Gredo shot first and Han Solo shot in reaction to that. In the original movie, Han shot first, without provocation. It's a small change. It doesn't matter to new fans. It doesn't really affect the quality of the movie. But you can't buy the original version of the movie, nor will it be played on TV ever again. If you want to see the original scene, you had to have purchased it or taped it off TV a long time ago.

Buffalo Alice has lots of new fans. Many people love their songs. But the songs that I fell in love with have changed. And if I want to hear them the original way, I can only resort to my one G.B. Fuzz cd - which I've naturally ripped to mp3's and have stored on my hard drive.

Anyway, you should all take a listen for yourself at: www.buffalice.com. My favorite G.B. Fuzz song was "Ezra." I have not decided which is my favorite Buffalo Alice song.

Wanted: A Cool New Band

Done and Done. I found a really cool new band called The Edison Project. They're from August and unfortunately mostly play around that area. I went to see my friends new band at The Masquerade on Dec. 23. Don't tell my friends, but I liked The Edison Project better than them. (I'll talk about that whole evening later.)

For now, I want to encourage you to go over to The Edison Project's MySpace site and listen to the three songs they're spinning. Here's my opinion of the songs:

"The Love I Need" - Very Pop-y with a great hook. This is the song that caught my attention at the show. It's the first song on their latest CD and that's as it should be. This song would be a hit if it ever got airtime.

"Don't Be So Indignant" - Still Pop-y, good hook, more interesting song. While the first song is instantly playable, this song draws you in more gradually. After about 4 listens I decided that I liked this song better than the first. I can't explain why it didn't hit me in the face at the show, but I did remember it - mostly for it's use of the word "Indignant." Isn't it great that they worked that word into a pop song?

"All These Things" - Pop-ish, good song, nice use of the word "flicker." This is more reminicent of radio tunes I don't pay much attention to. That probably means this song would do really well on the radio - I don't like much radio music these days. You seriously have to hear how the dude says the word "flicker" in the first few lines of this song.

That's The Edison Project according to Horse N. Buggy. Check 'em out and decide for yourself.

Oh and some people think I have bad taste in music. But he's just wrong. Ask The Polyglot, I have great taste in music. He's 19, he should know.

I'm a Meth-Head

So, a couple of years ago my boss introduced me to what we call the "miracle drug" - Aleve Cold & Sinus. If you have congestion and/or a headache, this stuff works. And it works for about 10 hours. There was a period of time when I popped two pills a day continuously. (Turns out I didn't have sinus trouble, I just needed to dust more than once a year.) Back then, I'd buy 2 or 3 20 pill boxes at a time. That was almost a month's supply.

I started thinking about little things like warning labels. You know, "Don't take this for an extended period of time." I've made a concerted effort to get off this wonder drug. (It helps that I'm changing my sheets on a more regular basis and kinda dusting.) But every now and then I legitimately have a sinus headache. At times like those, I still need my drugs.

A couple of weeks ago, I found myself at Target and wandered over to the medicine aisle to pick up a box of fantabulous drugs. Imagine my surprise to find out that I had to get the box from the pharmacist. This wonder drug is no longer on the shelf. It gets better.

When I requested a box of miracle drugs, the pharmacist asked for my license. I was a little taken aback. She then proceeded to enter information from my license into the computer. What did she enter? My license number? My name? My age? What?

I asked her why they kept it behind the counter now. This fantabulous wonderful miracle drug can be used to make ... Crystal Meth. People were buying several boxes at a time to grind up the pills and make a real wonder drug. Now I've been added to some national database as a person who likes to buy Aleve Cold & Sinus. Thank goodness I didn't request 3 boxes like back in the day. I wonder if she would have sold me that many boxes.

So if you've got a lab and need someone to buy your ingredients...I'm already on the list, I may as well get them for you.

Hump Day Photo

Ask and you shall receive...

Joe Samurai has this great affinity for bovines. I do my best to accommodate his prediliction. I think he must have had a secret cow pet growing up in Chicago. He won't own up to it, but I know it's true.

This particular cow is Irish. I like the cute Irish road viewed through the side mirror. And of course there's the cute Irish cow in front of you. I took this out of the window of a car (duh). What you may not have realized (until I mentioned that I was in Ireland) is that I was driving from that side of the car.

By the way, I'm kinda liking that the "Hump Day Photo" never actually appears on Hump Day.

Quick Catch Up

I haven't blogged in a long time. These are the things I've meant to blog about:

1. I'm a Meth-head.
2. Twins are hard work.
3. Need to post a Wednesday photo.
4. I found a cool band.
5. Deja vous BIG TIME!

Look for these posts coming soon.

How Fitting...

Take the quiz:
what alcholic beverage are you?

Spritzer
your kindof lame...your a spritzer, deal with it!

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!
What is a Spritzer, anyway?