Me and My Imaginary Friends

The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Random thoughts that need to be fleshed out

Here are the titles to blog postings that I haven't had time to write.  Some of them sound like they would have been awesome:

The twins are 3!

Henry Ford was a bigot.

Life sucks without a microwave.

There is a dude who REALLY wants to look at Stinky Garbage Trailer.

Found money rawks, especially when it's from the government.

Just like the little engine who could, I *can* get through my piles of mail.

I'm tired of getting shocked every time I turn on a light.

My Scrabble skilz make big sistas weep.

Snow shouldn't melt on the same day it fell.

Does making the same dinner of chicken, rice and beans every night count as cooking?

99x (and my youth) are official gone.

You probably don't know it, but you and I have "a song."


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Monday, January 07, 2008

Seen and Read

Seen:

The History Channel played a two-hour program on the KKK the other night.  I knew it might be difficult to watch, but I wanted to at least try.  The program began at 8:00.  I stopped watching it at 8:04.  Those 4 minutes were made up of about 2 minutes of opening "historical" dialog before launching into the meat of the program.  So, in reality, I couldn't make it through 2 minutes.  Those first 2 minutes showed modern day KKK "rallies" where the ugliest, nastiest white men you've ever seen march through small towns and then start yelling to an all-white crowd about Jews, [insert N-word here]s and [insert S-word here]s .  The worst part is that the historical intro had described the KKK as an organization with roots in Christianity.

I felt physically sick.  This world is so twisted and demented.  What probably upset me the most (beyond the hateful words) was the large percentage of teenage boys that go along with this hate.  They are literally breeding hate into their children.  I can't fathom it.


Read:

I'm beginning a long series of books about various historical royal personages.  All of the books were written by Jean Plaidy, an author who I dislike under a different pseudonym.  She writes fairly accurate historical stories as if they were novels.  So, the dialog you're reading didn't actually take place.  But it is based on the best concept we have of what was going on and how various people felt about it at the time.  Plaidy makes history come alive by presenting characters that you identify with and care about.

I actually read the first one a few months ago.  It was a re-release of three of her books into one megabook.  It told the stories of Charles II, King of England and his little sister who married the younger (mean and gay) brother of the King of France.  Briefly, Charles II is known as the Merry Monarch.  He was of the Stuart line of kings (who were Catholic and had ties to Scotland).  His father, Charles I, was overthrown by Oliver Cromwell during the Puritan revolt.  For a 22 year period, England had no monarch - until the fall of the Puritans and the return of Charles II.

The book I just completed was about Henry VIII's first wife, "Katherine of Aragon" (in quotes because that's the title of the book).  Before reading this book (also a re-release of three books into one), I knew very little about Henry VIII.  Generically, I knew that he'd had a bunch of wives, some or all of whom he'd killed off and that he was the father of one of England's greatest monarchs, Elizabeth I (you know her as Cate Blanchett). 

Here is Katherine's 640 page story in a nutshell:
She was the daughter of Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain (the pair who bankrolled Chris Columbus to come and find us).  At 16, Katherine came to England to marry Arthur, the Prince of Wales (that title is always given to the next in line to be ruler of England).  Arthur was 15 and not quite a healthy boy.  So Arthur's father, Henry VII, allowed the marriage to happen, but would not let them consummate it (too taxing and all that).  Arthur died just six months after the wedding and Katherine became a virgin widow.  Unfortunately for her, her father had not yet paid her dowry and Henry VII wasn't going to let her go home without his money.  She was kept in England for another 7 years, almost destitute.  After Henry VII's death, Henry VIII was advised not to marry Katherine, which solidified his desire to do so.  Henry was 18 when he became king and 20 when he married Kate, who was 25.

Henry VIII (from here on out referred to simply as Henry) saw himself as a romantic rescuer.  He wasn't really in love with "Kate," but he loved that he rescued her from despair while also proving that the king could marry whomever he pleased.  It was several years and stillbirths/miscarriages later before he became unfaithful to Kate.  Katherine followed her illustrious mother's example by turning a blind eye to Henry's indiscretions.  She was deeply religious, to the point where the people thought of her as saintly.  Over the years, Henry made and broke and had broken against him several treaties with the kings of Spain (Kate's own father), the Holy Roman Empire (Kate's lunatic sister's son) and France (no discernable relation to either Henry or Kate).

After 20 years, 6 failed pregnancies and one living *female* child (oh, the horror!), Henry found a young girl who refused to become his mistress.  Anne Boleyn demanded to be his wife.  Henry found a scripture in Leviticus that said, "You should not lay bare the nakedness of your brother's wife."  Based on this one scripture, he claimed that his conscience told him that he did not have the right to marry Kate in the first place.  He further claimed that her failed pregnancies were proof of God's displeasure in their marriage.  He applied to the Pope for an annulment (seriously, after 20 years, an annulment).  Politically, the Pope was caught between a rock and a hard place.  The Emperor Charles was naturally on his aunt's side, who did not want an annulment.  Annulment meant that her one child, Princess Mary, would be declared a bastard and would not be in line to inherit the throne.  Unfortunately for Henry, Charles held more sway with the Pope.  After years of delaying a verdict in the case, the Pope finally ruled on the side of Katherine. 

But by that time, Henry no longer acknowledged the Pope as the supreme religious authority.  Anne Boleyn had introduced Henry to the works of Martin Luther.  Someone else put the idea in his head that *he* should be the head of the church in England, not some Pope in Rome.  Henry declared that England would no longer be part of the Catholic Church.  An English court gave him an annulment and he married Anne a while before the Pope's decision came down.

So...that's a long nutshell.  But here's what I'm thinking.  Here's this man who is incredibly selfish and motivated purely by his own desires.  In the eyes of God he had absolutely NO RIGHT to divorce his wife.  In fact, the Israelite law of brother-in-law marriage proved that Henry was twisting one scripture to his own advantage while ignoring other principles.  Also according to God's law, Katherine had a right to divorce him for his adultery, certainly not the other way around. 

However, as I contemplate the course of true worship through the ages, it seems to me that the resulting break from the Catholic Church was critical.  It allowed people to question what they were being taught.  It eventually allowed for the writing of the King James Version of the Bible.  It allowed Puritanism to develop and grow in England.  It eventually lead to the spread of all branches of Protestantism.  It lead to freedom of religion in this and many countries.

It's difficult to wrap your mind around the idea that a selfish and immoral man played such a large part in advancing true worship.

I've moved on to Anne Boleyn's book.  Her story is written like a first person memoir.  She is recalling the events of her life while she is a prisoner in the Tower of London (been there!).  I do know how her story ends, but I don't know all the details yet.  I am hoping to read a story about all six wives of Henry VIII.  Then I will read about the women around this story - Henry's two sisters and his two daughters.  I may back up and read about his father.  Henry VII became King at the end of a long war and was always worried that some challenger would rise up to try to take his throne.  That sounds pretty interesting.

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Friday, January 04, 2008

Not Safe for Work

So, the coworker who sits next to me brought in his adorable, not quite three year old daughter in to work today.  The coworker on the other side of him spent quite a bit of the day entertaining her.  At some point I heard the little girl say something about soccer.  (Her dad also likes to watch soccer.)  I remembered that I have a small Chuck E. Cheese soccer ball left over from another coworker, so I took it in to show it to the little girl.  She lit up and we started playing soccer in the hallway.

I knew I couldn't play soccer in the hallway for very long.  When I was finished, I sent her in to play with the other coworker.  About 30 minutes before she and her father were due to leave (he works an earlier schedule than the rest of us), the little girl was wandering the hallway with my soccer ball under her arm.  I asked her where she was going.  She said, "To the car."  Obviously, she couldn't go to the car yet.  So I got her attention again and I showed her how to play soccer using your head.  I headed the ball, often into her face.  She was thrilled.  Another coworker came by and we showed him how we could head the ball.  He was duly impressed. 

I decided to give up much earlier this time and told her to go show her Daddy her new trick.  She was going to do that and I turned back around in my chair to continue working.  The ball rolled under my desk and she had to go behind me to get it.  The next thing I heard was a pretty loud thunk.  But there was no crying so I said without turning around, "Don't hit the desk with your head, silly."  I still didn't hear any noise at all.  After about 30 more seconds of quiet, I got scared that she had hit the desk so hard she'd knocked herself out.  I turned around to find her just on the verge of exploding into tears.  It could be that she knocked the wind out of herself and it took that long to recover enough to cry.  Or it could be that she wasn't sure that she was going to cry until I turned around to check on her.  I'm still not sure.  But she sure started wailing.  She almost didn't let me pick her up, but the standard, "Let me take you to see Daddy," got through to her.  By the time I got her into her father's office, two other coworkers had come running to see what the fuss was all about. 

Seriously.  It just didn't sound like that big of a deal.  But after her father got her calmed down (which really didn't take that long), you could see a big red mark under on eye.  She'd run her face into my desk, not just her head.  I have no doubt that she's gonna get a shiner.  But she was so adorable as she was leaving.  I yelled out to him, "Sorry about the black eye!"  She looked at me, dragging a pink Barbie pack back as big as she was, and said, "I feel better now."  HOW ADORABLE!

But, yeah, little girls are Not Safe for Work.

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Thursday, January 03, 2008

Sweet Sixteen

It is SIXTEEN stinking degrees outside today.  Sweet sixteen, my shivering a$$.

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