Me and My Imaginary Friends

The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Thanks for the Information

I'm on the phone with a Microsoft representative. He's so ... polite. He has to get basic information from me like name, phone number, address, support account number, etc. Obviously, I can't give him all this info at the same time, so he asks for my name (and how it's spelled). After I answer him, he says, "Thanks for the information." Then he moves on to address. Again he says, "Thanks for the information." I think he's said that phrase 15 times already.

Does Microsoft really have people calling them for help who won't surrender this info?

Microsoft Tech: "Can I have your name?"
Caller: "No, you've got to guess my name."
Microsoft: "Bill?"
Caller: "Uhn uh, try again."
Microsoft: "Steve?"
Caller: "Fooled you again! It's not Steve, either. C'mon, third time's the charm."
Microsoft: "Ahmed?"
Caller: "Dang, you're good."
Microsoft: "That's my brother's name. Now Ahmed, please give me your last name."
Ahmed: "Nope. You're so good at the guessing, you're gonna have to guess that, too."
Microsoft: "Patel?"
Ahmed: "Nope."
Microsoft: "Jones?"
Ahmed: "Wrong again."
Microsoft: "O'Shanassey"
Ahmed: "Wow! That's it!"
Microsoft: "Of course. Mr. O'Shanassey, please give me your street address."
Ahmed: "Hmm... uh, no. You've gotta guess."
Microsoft: "10345 Neederlend Avenue, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia"
Ahmed: "How did you know that?"
Microsoft: "We are Microsoft. We can find out anything."
Ahmed: "Yeah? Well then what's wrong with my server?"
Microsoft: "Nothing. While we've been talking I pushed out the latest service packs and hot fixes. Your server is rebooting now. Thank you for calling Microsoft. But if it would make you feel better, I can let you listen to 'The Sounds of the Seventies' On-Hold music while I run down to Starbucks for the 15th time today."

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If this were REALLY in Ethiopia, they'd be speaking Amharic... But really, good narrative. Are you looking for a job?

2:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was stupid. it cut my name off...

2:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

thought you'd gone "street" on us, P.

4:07 PM  
Blogger Horse N. Buggy said...

Just don't become PGlotty.

4:17 PM  

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