Smells like roses, tastes like a$$
(And surely, I mean the donkey...)
It's not quite holiday time, when our office will be overflowing with foodstuffs from vendors. Aww, memories of last year's ginormous solid chocolate bar from the Gas company come to mind. :-) But we do occasionally find random gifts of food in the kitchen. Today, I was informed that I had to come look at the food that was sitting on the kitchen table.
OK, the first clue that this wasn't going to be a pleasant experience should have been going into the auxiliary kitchen. Good food finds its way to the big kitchen, nasty food ends up in the little kitchen. Second clue, the box proclaimed that it was "middle eastern" food. Yum, eat it up. Third clue, the woman who dragged me in to look at it had already sliced one of these ... things (I don't know what else to call them) open and left both pieces sitting on the table.
So, I was greeted by a very small box of food items that I totally didn't recognize. The one my coworker had tried to eat was round. Inside, it was a lighter shade of brown than "paper bag," but not by much. There was one pistachio lodged inside. I have no idea what the rest was made of. My coworker had chosen that one because she thought it looked similar to the date balls I'd made earlier in the year. Nope, not even close. I think there were maybe some peanuts in there. But seriously, the outside should have been enough for her to not attempt to eat this thing. It had tin foil melted/embedded/decayed into one side of it. You literally could not separate the tiny flecks of silver from the ball.
Still, that wasn't the worst. In an attempt to identify the ingredients without actually tasting the thing, I smelled it. (I learned that trick from T.) I recognized the smell, but couldn't put my finger on it immediately. I kept sniffing away until it finally hit me - it smelled exactly like roses. By that time, there was an impartial bystander in the kitchen. She smelled it and agreed that it smelled like roses. I sniffed the box - the whole thing smelled like roses.
I don't know about you, but I don't eat food that smells like flowers, especially when it is apparent that the smell is actually some form of perfume. Who sprays perfume on a box of fancy food before they give it to someone? Upon further inspection, the box top had grease marks, possibly even moldy spots. Either someone was trying to poison us or we had been re-gifted this boxed of nasty food. Either way, I deemed that it was too unsafe for people to eat and threw it away.
Still, my favorite part of the whole encounter was that my coworker tried to convince me to taste it by saying, "It tastes like a$$."
[and now a word from our sponsors...]
It's not quite holiday time, when our office will be overflowing with foodstuffs from vendors. Aww, memories of last year's ginormous solid chocolate bar from the Gas company come to mind. :-) But we do occasionally find random gifts of food in the kitchen. Today, I was informed that I had to come look at the food that was sitting on the kitchen table.
OK, the first clue that this wasn't going to be a pleasant experience should have been going into the auxiliary kitchen. Good food finds its way to the big kitchen, nasty food ends up in the little kitchen. Second clue, the box proclaimed that it was "middle eastern" food. Yum, eat it up. Third clue, the woman who dragged me in to look at it had already sliced one of these ... things (I don't know what else to call them) open and left both pieces sitting on the table.
So, I was greeted by a very small box of food items that I totally didn't recognize. The one my coworker had tried to eat was round. Inside, it was a lighter shade of brown than "paper bag," but not by much. There was one pistachio lodged inside. I have no idea what the rest was made of. My coworker had chosen that one because she thought it looked similar to the date balls I'd made earlier in the year. Nope, not even close. I think there were maybe some peanuts in there. But seriously, the outside should have been enough for her to not attempt to eat this thing. It had tin foil melted/embedded/decayed into one side of it. You literally could not separate the tiny flecks of silver from the ball.
Still, that wasn't the worst. In an attempt to identify the ingredients without actually tasting the thing, I smelled it. (I learned that trick from T.) I recognized the smell, but couldn't put my finger on it immediately. I kept sniffing away until it finally hit me - it smelled exactly like roses. By that time, there was an impartial bystander in the kitchen. She smelled it and agreed that it smelled like roses. I sniffed the box - the whole thing smelled like roses.
I don't know about you, but I don't eat food that smells like flowers, especially when it is apparent that the smell is actually some form of perfume. Who sprays perfume on a box of fancy food before they give it to someone? Upon further inspection, the box top had grease marks, possibly even moldy spots. Either someone was trying to poison us or we had been re-gifted this boxed of nasty food. Either way, I deemed that it was too unsafe for people to eat and threw it away.
Still, my favorite part of the whole encounter was that my coworker tried to convince me to taste it by saying, "It tastes like a$$."
[and now a word from our sponsors...]
Help yourself to FREE treats served up daily at the Messenger Café. Stop by today!
2 Comments:
Always makes me want to taste something, especially out of the back seat of biscuit's truck...
Glad my trick could save you some misery ;)
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