Every Friday morning, my employer provides breakfast for the office. Well, they really provide breakfast for the builders who have to come in to do their paperwork. But they get enough breakfast for everyone. We had bagels this morning (so much better than donuts). There was a decent line for the two toasters. Several of us were standing around in the kitchen chatting about this and that. When it was finally my turn to put my bagel in one of the toasters, I stepped a little away from the general crowd. A man who I rarely ever talk to but is good friends with my boss asked me how things were going with Mama. I wasn't completely surprised that he knew about it since he is friends with my boss. But I was surprised by the depth of his reaction when I told him how serious the situation was. He told me that he'd been thinking about me and wanted to say something for a while but wasn't sure how to phrase it. I have no business contact with this man. So the only time we could chat is in situations like this or when we pass in the halls. I was even more surprised when he told me that he was praying for me. He's a typical Southern man so I'm not surprised that he is religious on a basic level. But I'm always surprised when people who are not overtly religious mention prayer. I was just really touched by the geniuneness of his concern, especially since the majority of the people in the office don't have a clue.
I've come up with a project to keep Mama busy/engaged. I went to Target yesterday and bought two photo albums. They are the kind that have three slots per page for 4x6 photos. You can only load the photos in as landscapes, so if you have portrait oriented photos, you have to turn the album to view them. There are also lines beside each photo slot where you can write a little description about each image. I hate these kinds of albums for a couple of reasons: 1) I don't like being limited to the 4x6 size. 2) I hate having to turn the album to view portrait images (especially when people put them in so that you have to turn the album different directions). But I think the slip in "pocket" feature of these albums will make them much easier for Mama to use. Even under the best of circumstances, I still have trouble getting wrinkles out of the kind where you pull up the whole see-through film and then lay it back down over the page of photos. I want to occupy Mama, not frustrate her. So while this is not something I would have ever done for myself, it will turn out to be something that will always remind me of Mama. I will be able to look through these albums and not just see my own photos. I will see images that Mama arranged and grouped according to her own logic. I will hopefully also see notes that she writes about some or all of the photos.
Super Mom is on her way here as I type this. I expected her to come tomorrow, but she's coming today. She won't get here until around dark. She's bringing with her a very cool and dear sister from her congregation. This sister is in her early to mid 50's and doesn't have any more kids living at home. She and her husband have been very good friends to my sister and her family. The kids love her and one or three of them sit with her for a portion of almost every meeting. She's basically coming up to look after the kids while Super Mom is here. Last time Super Mom came, she either couldn't do much because of the kids or had to make the kids just sit at Mama's house all day. I think Super Mom has decided that her kids (at least the older two) won't see Mama on this trip. She doesn't want this to be the last memory they have of her. While I understand her decision, I think that may be awkward with Mama who still refuses to acknowledge that she's not getting over this. The problem is my 5 year old niece. She feels and thinks about things so deeply. She asks really bizarre questions about very grown up issues that a 5 year old shouldn't even be close to being aware of. Super Mom is concerned that if she sees Mama and realizes that she is dying, her daughter will become at the least very upset but at the worst obsessed with death.
I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I've lined up the services of a cleaning lady. But I will qualify that statement by saying that she's the widow of the brother who just died and she really needs work. So that makes me not quite so lazy, right? I thought she was like, d e s p e r a t e for work. But since she can't get to me until July 30, I guess she's not as bad off as I imagined. Of course, some of the things keeping her occupied over the next week may not be work related. She is trying to get her house in order to sell so that may have her tied up next week. The thing that is embarrassing to admit is how much work I have to do on the third "private" floor to get it ready for her to come in to clean. I've got stuff everywhere. She could pile it up for me, but then I'd just have random piles that I wouldn't know what to do with. I've got to tackle some of the stuff before I can let her up there but before Laughter comes to stay with me.
Now if I could only find someone to cook for me...
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I've come up with a project to keep Mama busy/engaged. I went to Target yesterday and bought two photo albums. They are the kind that have three slots per page for 4x6 photos. You can only load the photos in as landscapes, so if you have portrait oriented photos, you have to turn the album to view them. There are also lines beside each photo slot where you can write a little description about each image. I hate these kinds of albums for a couple of reasons: 1) I don't like being limited to the 4x6 size. 2) I hate having to turn the album to view portrait images (especially when people put them in so that you have to turn the album different directions). But I think the slip in "pocket" feature of these albums will make them much easier for Mama to use. Even under the best of circumstances, I still have trouble getting wrinkles out of the kind where you pull up the whole see-through film and then lay it back down over the page of photos. I want to occupy Mama, not frustrate her. So while this is not something I would have ever done for myself, it will turn out to be something that will always remind me of Mama. I will be able to look through these albums and not just see my own photos. I will see images that Mama arranged and grouped according to her own logic. I will hopefully also see notes that she writes about some or all of the photos.
Super Mom is on her way here as I type this. I expected her to come tomorrow, but she's coming today. She won't get here until around dark. She's bringing with her a very cool and dear sister from her congregation. This sister is in her early to mid 50's and doesn't have any more kids living at home. She and her husband have been very good friends to my sister and her family. The kids love her and one or three of them sit with her for a portion of almost every meeting. She's basically coming up to look after the kids while Super Mom is here. Last time Super Mom came, she either couldn't do much because of the kids or had to make the kids just sit at Mama's house all day. I think Super Mom has decided that her kids (at least the older two) won't see Mama on this trip. She doesn't want this to be the last memory they have of her. While I understand her decision, I think that may be awkward with Mama who still refuses to acknowledge that she's not getting over this. The problem is my 5 year old niece. She feels and thinks about things so deeply. She asks really bizarre questions about very grown up issues that a 5 year old shouldn't even be close to being aware of. Super Mom is concerned that if she sees Mama and realizes that she is dying, her daughter will become at the least very upset but at the worst obsessed with death.
I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I've lined up the services of a cleaning lady. But I will qualify that statement by saying that she's the widow of the brother who just died and she really needs work. So that makes me not quite so lazy, right? I thought she was like, d e s p e r a t e for work. But since she can't get to me until July 30, I guess she's not as bad off as I imagined. Of course, some of the things keeping her occupied over the next week may not be work related. She is trying to get her house in order to sell so that may have her tied up next week. The thing that is embarrassing to admit is how much work I have to do on the third "private" floor to get it ready for her to come in to clean. I've got stuff everywhere. She could pile it up for me, but then I'd just have random piles that I wouldn't know what to do with. I've got to tackle some of the stuff before I can let her up there but before Laughter comes to stay with me.
Now if I could only find someone to cook for me...
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1 Comments:
Bagles bring everyone together. It's a jewish thing.
I'll be a live in maid and cook if you'll give me a room half off. There's nothing keeping me here anymore.
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