Ramblings
My life changes daily. I don't want this to become a depressing blog, so I'm going to try to tell you about the rainbow of emotions/states of mind that I can go through in the course of a weekend.
Sorrow - We had a memorial service on Saturday morning for a wonderfully kind brother from our congregation who finally lost his battle with cancer. He clung to life for far longer than anyone expected, but finally slipped away early Tuesday morning. Almost every person in our congregation (and many others) played some part in supporting him and his wife through his illness. Naturally, the Hall was packed for his service. His wife (of only 5 years) had been planning his memorial service since the day she found out that he was dying. She had very specific ideas on how everything should be conducted to bring the greatest honor to the man who was the one great love of her life. The most difficult part of the 45 minute program was listening to a letter that he wrote to the congregation. They chose to read it early in the program and I don't think there was a dry-eye in the house for the rest of the talk.
Pleasure - I had the pleasure of seeing five of my all-time favorite people this weekend. My former bookstudy overseer and his wife (1 congregation ago) came to the memorial service. While it was a sad occasion that allowed me to see them, I was glad to spend a little bit of time with them. I was even able to introduce them to my sister and sister-in-law. The following day, more of my favorite people came over to see Mama: another former bookstudy overseer and his wife (2 congregations ago) and T. I'd seen the couple just last weekend and technically I'd seen T only a few weekends ago. But it was still great to see them all together again.
Tenderness - I have a unique way of walking my mother from her chair to the bathroom. She is still basically strong enough to walk, but she needs a steadying hand. I'm the only one who has figured out that it is easiest to guide her by taking her hands and walking backwards while she walks forwards. We end up walking face to face and I get her to look behind me to warn me if I'm about to back into anything. She doesn't have to look down at her feet because if there's anything to trip over, I would have already "found" it. She ends up looking at me while we walk. On one of these bathroom adventures last weekend, Mama spontaneously leaned in and kissed me. That couldn't have happened if I was awkwardly walking beside her, trying to hold her up under one armpit and fit both of us through a doorway (the method employed by the others in my family). It was such a small moment and I hope there will be more small moments in the coming weeks. But even if there are not, I know I will carry the memory of that kiss with me forever.
Exasperation - Right now I'm a little annoyed with my sister and her bossy ways. I won't go into details because it's not right or fair to do so here. I will get over it (very soon). But sometimes I just hit my limit of being told what to do, especially when I think those commands are based on judgments that someone else is putting into my sister's head.
Exhaustion - I had a difficult time getting to sleep on Saturday night. At one point, I was almost asleep in my TV watching chair. I should have just gone up to bed at that time. I didn't. I stayed up long enough to see that a movie I was kinda interested in was on. Once that caught my interest, I was up until around 1:00. I wasn't really able to catch up on Sunday. This morning, I kept hitting snooze (as usual). It didn't even enter my head that it was a work day until the fourth or fifth time I hit snooze. I hate getting a late start, but that is my modus operandi these days.
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Sorrow - We had a memorial service on Saturday morning for a wonderfully kind brother from our congregation who finally lost his battle with cancer. He clung to life for far longer than anyone expected, but finally slipped away early Tuesday morning. Almost every person in our congregation (and many others) played some part in supporting him and his wife through his illness. Naturally, the Hall was packed for his service. His wife (of only 5 years) had been planning his memorial service since the day she found out that he was dying. She had very specific ideas on how everything should be conducted to bring the greatest honor to the man who was the one great love of her life. The most difficult part of the 45 minute program was listening to a letter that he wrote to the congregation. They chose to read it early in the program and I don't think there was a dry-eye in the house for the rest of the talk.
Pleasure - I had the pleasure of seeing five of my all-time favorite people this weekend. My former bookstudy overseer and his wife (1 congregation ago) came to the memorial service. While it was a sad occasion that allowed me to see them, I was glad to spend a little bit of time with them. I was even able to introduce them to my sister and sister-in-law. The following day, more of my favorite people came over to see Mama: another former bookstudy overseer and his wife (2 congregations ago) and T. I'd seen the couple just last weekend and technically I'd seen T only a few weekends ago. But it was still great to see them all together again.
Tenderness - I have a unique way of walking my mother from her chair to the bathroom. She is still basically strong enough to walk, but she needs a steadying hand. I'm the only one who has figured out that it is easiest to guide her by taking her hands and walking backwards while she walks forwards. We end up walking face to face and I get her to look behind me to warn me if I'm about to back into anything. She doesn't have to look down at her feet because if there's anything to trip over, I would have already "found" it. She ends up looking at me while we walk. On one of these bathroom adventures last weekend, Mama spontaneously leaned in and kissed me. That couldn't have happened if I was awkwardly walking beside her, trying to hold her up under one armpit and fit both of us through a doorway (the method employed by the others in my family). It was such a small moment and I hope there will be more small moments in the coming weeks. But even if there are not, I know I will carry the memory of that kiss with me forever.
Exasperation - Right now I'm a little annoyed with my sister and her bossy ways. I won't go into details because it's not right or fair to do so here. I will get over it (very soon). But sometimes I just hit my limit of being told what to do, especially when I think those commands are based on judgments that someone else is putting into my sister's head.
Exhaustion - I had a difficult time getting to sleep on Saturday night. At one point, I was almost asleep in my TV watching chair. I should have just gone up to bed at that time. I didn't. I stayed up long enough to see that a movie I was kinda interested in was on. Once that caught my interest, I was up until around 1:00. I wasn't really able to catch up on Sunday. This morning, I kept hitting snooze (as usual). It didn't even enter my head that it was a work day until the fourth or fifth time I hit snooze. I hate getting a late start, but that is my modus operandi these days.
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1 Comments:
the roller coaster of life...glad there were some high points in it for you this week..and glad I could be part of one of them :)
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