Repaying favors
We've had to get some oxygen equipment for Mama. The nurse noticed that her lung capacity or breathing (I don't know the medical terms, I'm not The Doctor) is impaired or reduced. The nurse thinks that may be part of Mama's problem with confusion. I don't know. I've seen documentaries about mountain climbing. I know that you can't think clearly and may even hallucinate when you're oxygen deprived. But I'm thinking of extremely high altitudes like Everest. Surely we would have noticed if Mama were getting that little bit of oxygen. I think her confusion is caused by the anti-depressant and the hallucinations are caused by the morphine. She may need to have supplemental oxygen, but I don't think that it is going to help her think more clearly.
Anyway, Mama seemed pretty agitated and fidgetty, though basically clear-minded last evening. I've come up with a new way to distract her. I think she gets fidgetty because she has nothing to do. For once in her life, the TV isn't able to keep her attention so she's focusing on the things close to her. I found a way to keep her hands occupied and hopefully give her some feelings of pleasure. I sat down in front of her chair and asked her to play with my hair. She ran her fingers through it several times and then tried to braid it. Of course she can't really braid it. My hair is too silky to hold a braid unless you really know what you're doing. But she was at least calm while she fiddled around with my hair. She eventually settled down enough that she told me she was about to fall asleep right onto my head. I got up then, turned the TV to Andy Griffith and let her doze off in her chair.
I remember my sister-in-law telling me that she let her mother help her with small cooking duties before Alzheimer's completely claimed her mind. Specifically, she let her mother tend to a huge bowl of snap beans. My sister-in-law gave her more snap beans than she intended to cook that evening just so that her mother would have something to do with her hands. It seemed to calm her to have legitimate work to do. I want to find a similar activity that is not related to food preparation. I think it would be a little insensitive to ask Mama to prepare food when she can't eat. I don't even like to eat in front of her. I'm having trouble thinking of a task that won't require thinking ability but can keep her occupied for a decent amount of time. It has to be a familiar task since she can't learn anything new at this point. If you think of anything, let me know.
Anyway, on to the theme of this post. I try to stand right behind Mama when she's at the sink washing her hands or brushing her teeth. She's standing on her own but she is very wobbly. Obviously, I don't want her to fall. But I also want to be aware that it must be annoying to have someone that close to you all the time. I know that would drive me bonkers. So instead of just standing there and watching her every move, I scratch her back. Morphine causes you to itch constantly. Mama is always reaching behind her to scratch her back or her behind. So imagine the difference between having someone stand over you and just watch you versus having someone follow you around to scratch your back all the time. Slight physical difference, but hopefully a big psychological difference.
While she was brushing her teeth last night (and getting her back scratched), she said, "Man, I am going to have to pay you back one day for all these favors you're doing me. You remind me." I answered, "I will remind you and I expect something good." That could have been a very sad scene. I know that she was thinking about repaying me after she "gets better." I was thinking about getting my payback after the resurrection and she is restored to perfect health (and looks like my sister instead of my mother). I will gladly take any favors she wants to pay up on at that time. I've heard a lot of people recently say that the resurrection hope isn't a great comfort just after the death of a loved one. I'm willing to acknowledge that it may not immediately be for me either. But right now, it is. As horrible as it is to see my mother waste away, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that she will be safe in Jehovah's memory. Everyone loves my Mama, especially Jehovah.
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Anyway, Mama seemed pretty agitated and fidgetty, though basically clear-minded last evening. I've come up with a new way to distract her. I think she gets fidgetty because she has nothing to do. For once in her life, the TV isn't able to keep her attention so she's focusing on the things close to her. I found a way to keep her hands occupied and hopefully give her some feelings of pleasure. I sat down in front of her chair and asked her to play with my hair. She ran her fingers through it several times and then tried to braid it. Of course she can't really braid it. My hair is too silky to hold a braid unless you really know what you're doing. But she was at least calm while she fiddled around with my hair. She eventually settled down enough that she told me she was about to fall asleep right onto my head. I got up then, turned the TV to Andy Griffith and let her doze off in her chair.
I remember my sister-in-law telling me that she let her mother help her with small cooking duties before Alzheimer's completely claimed her mind. Specifically, she let her mother tend to a huge bowl of snap beans. My sister-in-law gave her more snap beans than she intended to cook that evening just so that her mother would have something to do with her hands. It seemed to calm her to have legitimate work to do. I want to find a similar activity that is not related to food preparation. I think it would be a little insensitive to ask Mama to prepare food when she can't eat. I don't even like to eat in front of her. I'm having trouble thinking of a task that won't require thinking ability but can keep her occupied for a decent amount of time. It has to be a familiar task since she can't learn anything new at this point. If you think of anything, let me know.
Anyway, on to the theme of this post. I try to stand right behind Mama when she's at the sink washing her hands or brushing her teeth. She's standing on her own but she is very wobbly. Obviously, I don't want her to fall. But I also want to be aware that it must be annoying to have someone that close to you all the time. I know that would drive me bonkers. So instead of just standing there and watching her every move, I scratch her back. Morphine causes you to itch constantly. Mama is always reaching behind her to scratch her back or her behind. So imagine the difference between having someone stand over you and just watch you versus having someone follow you around to scratch your back all the time. Slight physical difference, but hopefully a big psychological difference.
While she was brushing her teeth last night (and getting her back scratched), she said, "Man, I am going to have to pay you back one day for all these favors you're doing me. You remind me." I answered, "I will remind you and I expect something good." That could have been a very sad scene. I know that she was thinking about repaying me after she "gets better." I was thinking about getting my payback after the resurrection and she is restored to perfect health (and looks like my sister instead of my mother). I will gladly take any favors she wants to pay up on at that time. I've heard a lot of people recently say that the resurrection hope isn't a great comfort just after the death of a loved one. I'm willing to acknowledge that it may not immediately be for me either. But right now, it is. As horrible as it is to see my mother waste away, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that she will be safe in Jehovah's memory. Everyone loves my Mama, especially Jehovah.
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