Advertising: The Good, The Bad and The Scary

There are a couple of billboards up around town that annoy me (imagine that). There's at least one that I like. And there's one new ad campaign (radio) that leaves me speechless. Here goes my rant:

Should I start with The Good? No. Never.

The Scary:
Del Webb is a homebuilder who mainly builds "active adult" housing. These are homes for the over 55 crowd. Single story homes or two storied with the Master bedroom downstairs. As you can imagine, these things sell like bagels in Florida, but the market is not as large in our fair state - though there is a small market. Del Webb is new to our city, so they've thrown up a billboard on 85 S, right after the 400 merge.

I drove by that thing for a couple of weeks trying to figure out: 1) what it was advertising 2) what the lady was doing 3) why I was supposed to care instead of be scared (or scarred). Let me describe: There's an older woman wearing sunglasses with this look of either self-righteous zeal or pure delight on her up-turned face. All you can read zooming past the thing at 6:15 in the morning at 70 mph is "liveon-atlanta.com."

I thought it was for a new church with a female pastor. Or a picture of a woman getting "the spirit" at the new church. Liveon-atlanta sounds like it could be a church website. But no, it's a billboard for Del Webb advertising their new active adult community. The woman is wearing a black leather jacket and is riding a Harley. I think I'd be less scared (and scarred) if it had been a church billboard. You can see the picture for yourself at liveon-atlanta.com. Imagine the photo in the upper left corner the size of a billboard.

The Annoying:
So what if annoying wasn't a category? There's a billboard for the new Razr phone heading north on 85 just as you're about to get on 400. It features a woman wearing long dangly earrings, one of which is the Razr phone. (I don't care if I'm not spelling that right. They should spell it Razor if they want people to say razor.) To me the woman looks like a Vulcan. Others have said that she looks like an elf. Either way, you should be getting the picture that she's got pointy ears. And they're BIG. And she's not attractive. I just don't get it. "Look at our phone, it's prettier than our model?" "Look at our phone, if you have big pointy ears you can wear it as jewelry?" But then again, I am SO not their target audience.

The BAD:
Have you heard the new commercials for Lance Crackers? The new motto/tag line/jingle is ... "I got Lance in my pants." Seriously. Who thought up this campaign? They have Adam Corolla "walking the streets" talking to, let's face it, a bunch of really white people. No black people are going to say the phrase, "I got Lance in my pants." Especially when they call the segments "Cracker Talk." Again, seriously. Adam, you didn't have to tell me you were in Michigan, ain't no way you're bringin' that down South. I don't even think the white people down here would talk to you. And while it may be true that Lance crackers are "big enough to satisfy my hunger but small enough to keep in my pocket," that's not why I buy them. 'Cause you know what? Lots of snack foods are small enough to keep in my pocket...like - every candy bar ever made. What's your next slogan? "Lance Crackers, we package 'em in plastic!" "Lance Crackers, all you have to do is chew and swallow." "Six crackers in a package of Lance...because you have five fingers."

The Good:
So finally I'll get to the good. I left this for last because it won't be nearly as funny. The unabashedly gay Isaac Mizrahi has (had?) a new show on the Oxygen network. (It may have already been cancelled.) While the photo on the link above leaves no question about his masculinity, his billboards were actually very manly. I couldn't find a picture of one and the only one I know of is on 85 north down in East Point. So sneak a peak on your next trip back from Peachtree City, Noonan or the airport.

Anyway, Isaac is dressed in a really nice business suit. His hair is perfectly coiffed. The photo was shot from the side so that you see him in profile. He's got this look on his face like he's a businessman and he's in the middle of doing something big - very actiony. It's the kind of pose I'd expect from Donald Trump, not Isaac Mizrahi. Not that Mizrahi isn't a good businessman. Of course he is. He just isn't a traditional businessman. I can't explain it, but I stare (or starre) at this billboard every time I go by it. I wish I'd shot it.


And that is my rant. Leave your own rants in the comments.