The Bottom of the Dating Pool
You know you've hit rock bottom when you ask out the guy in the Produce department. You know the one. He wears a paper hair net and sprays the fruits. Sometimes he wears a white lab coat as if he can dupe patrons into thinking he's a doctor who only waters fruits and vegetables to relieve the stress of saving lives.
Except that when I said to the Produce guy, "I'm looking for dates," I wasn't asking him out. I was actually looking for dates - the fruit.
But the implication of telling the Produce guy, "I'm looking for dates," didn't hit me until after the words were out of my mouth. And then no matter how much air I sucked back into my mouth, I couldn't get the words back. So I had to quickly follow up with, "Uh, they're usually in a box near the raisins. But I didn't see any over there. Are there any in this department?"
But just as in real life, I couldn't buy dates - not even one.
Why do I need dates (besides the obvious)? We're having a bake sale to raise funds for a cancer charity at the office tomorrow. I volunteered to make Date Balls. YAY for date balls! But you can't make date balls without dates. So I'll be at Publix tonight looking for more dates.
[and now a word from our sponsors...]
Except that when I said to the Produce guy, "I'm looking for dates," I wasn't asking him out. I was actually looking for dates - the fruit.
But the implication of telling the Produce guy, "I'm looking for dates," didn't hit me until after the words were out of my mouth. And then no matter how much air I sucked back into my mouth, I couldn't get the words back. So I had to quickly follow up with, "Uh, they're usually in a box near the raisins. But I didn't see any over there. Are there any in this department?"
But just as in real life, I couldn't buy dates - not even one.
Why do I need dates (besides the obvious)? We're having a bake sale to raise funds for a cancer charity at the office tomorrow. I volunteered to make Date Balls. YAY for date balls! But you can't make date balls without dates. So I'll be at Publix tonight looking for more dates.
[and now a word from our sponsors...]
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1 Comments:
hee! Did the produce guy get that look in his eye when you asked him where to find the dates?
Hope you found some at Publix. Y'all make great date balls!
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