Me and My Imaginary Friends

The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool.

Friday, October 06, 2006

How inspiring

I was just looking at the website for the software company that I deal with daily (and have dealt with for 11 years).  They have some bio information about their consultants posted for all to read.  (They also have photos of their whole support staff so you can see the face of the people you talk to on the phone.)  These bios are mostly to describe the person's professional experience and what they do at this company.  Then there is a short paragraph (usually one or two sentences) to describe what each person does when they're not "on the job."  ...a nice personal touch. 

Let me share a sampling with you (as always, no real names are used here):

Yul - "In his spare time you'll find him hiking, snowboarding, SCUBA diving, or remodeling his home."

Ivan - "In addition to his professional construction background, Ivan served with [yadda yadda military details] as a Russian Linguist and is a Gulf War veteran. He is presently a commissioned [yadda yadda military details] and has a Business degree from [yadda yadda university details]. Ivan is married and his most important responsibility and greatest joy is his 4-year old son."

Antonio - "In his spare time, Antonio tries to keep up with his six-year old son Antny, reads voraciously, plays guitar and occasionally cooks Indian food."

Bob - "While not working in the office, he is an avid reader, cyclist, snow shoer, cross country skier, cook and wine collector."

Fuji - "When not fashioning holistic and integrated information systems for the client base, you can find Fuji traveling the world experiencing diverse cultures from all corners of the globe, skiing the slopes of the back country, or studying feverishly to complete his MBA. Oh yeah, he is also fluent in Japanese."

Feline - "An avid cat-lover and companion to a cat or two (or four…), Feline is also a worldwide animal advocate who supports the rescue and care of domestic and wildlife animal populations."

I don't know about you, but I'm feeling like a bit of an underachiever.  They've got two people fluent in non-native tongues.  Several people who ski, SCUBA, hike or do something similar.  A few are pursuing additional degrees (while skiing and globe trekking).  And then there's the chick who's trying to single-handedly save every animal on the planet. 

If I worked for this company (and if they weren't located in the opposite corner of the country, that would be a serious possibility), my bio would end with:

"When not slaving away to correct your stupid mistakes, Horse N. Buggy likes to sit on her @$$ watching TV.  You can often find her sitting in a chair making wickedly funny posts on her blog about the idiots she works with and for - while eating."



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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL!

3:32 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth Escalante said...

Or….

In addition to her interest in the advancement of the technical knowledge of others, HnB is an aspiring writer with a growing interest in the field of entertainment journalism. She is a comedienne, biographer and student of human nature. HnB also enjoys the culinary arts and has a unique ability to mingle her many talents an interests into singular activities.

10:44 AM  

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