Good Fences Make Good Neighbors
I came home from work on Friday with a killer headache. I took medicine and went to bed. It was about 3:00 in the afternoon. I just stayed in bed through the night. The only problem was that the people directly behind my bedroom were having a party. Not just any party, their kids had friends over.
The kids sounded like they were between 12 - 14. I believe that it was physically impossible for them to speak without screaming. It sounded like there were around 6 of them. They kept up their screaming from around 4:30 - 10:00. The noise really only bothered me when the sleepy med was wearing off around 9:00. But I recognize that they have the right to have friends over and sit outside on their deck. If they had been outside screaming after 11:00, I wouldn't have been so understanding.
Last night I heard voices outside again. This time, they were close enough that I knew before looking that they were on my neighbor's porch. When people sit on her porch, the sound travels up to my bedroom window as if they were sitting on my window sill. I wasn't quite in bed yet. I looked down through my blinds at them to see if I could figure out how long they'd be there.
They were smoking cigars, so I figured they would be outside until the cigars were finished or they got too cold. No big deal. Again, it's totally reasonable for her to have guests outside on her porch on a Saturday night.
Before I moved away from the window, I noticed that body language and general stance made it appear that these were two couples. The guy who looked like he was with my neighbor was very handsome. I thought, "You go girl." Right about that time, either the other girl or the boyfriend asked my neighbor, "Which is the neighbor that you hate? The fat one?"
I was shocked. I think the formerly handsome guy standing on my neighbor's porch even said, "Hey, fat girl!" and looked over towards my house. I stepped away from the window even though I know there was no way he could have seen me.
I have been wracking my brain to figure out why my neighbor hates me. I used to have people over to my house every week. But it was never a ton of people and I know we weren't loud. We would also break up before 11:00. And I haven't done that in a year. Besides, I know for a fact that once people are inside, you can't hear anything that goes on in the other house. There's no way we disturbed her.
When my cousin lived with me I was very particular about both of us parking in the garage so that we wouldn't bother the neighbors. I got up every morning to move his car and back mine out and then put his back in the garage. It was a LOT of trouble. She can't be upset about that.
The only thing I do that is a little weird is that I get my mail when I pull in from work. Our building is right across from the mailboxes, so most people park their cars and then walk back to get their mail. But there is a parking space right in front of the mailbox. So I just pull over, jump out, get the mail and then pull in to my garage. It's a little lazy, but I don't get in anyone's way. My car is in the parking space so traffic can go by me. And I don't block people who are walking up to the mailbox.
I just don't get it. In fact, this is the neighbor that I speak to more than any other in this place. That means that I typically just say hello and wave. But just a couple of weeks ago I ran into her at the mailbox and had a short conversation about her dog. It's a little dog, the kind that I can't stand, but I was pleasant and told her it was cute anyway.
For the life of me, I can't think of why anyone would hate a "fat girl" who never makes a peep and doesn't break any community rules. Could she be annoyed that I've never invited her over? Well, sorry. She's just gonna have to deal with that. Should I ask her what I've done to offend her, explaining that since I was in my bedroom I couldn't help but overhear her and her friends?
The kids sounded like they were between 12 - 14. I believe that it was physically impossible for them to speak without screaming. It sounded like there were around 6 of them. They kept up their screaming from around 4:30 - 10:00. The noise really only bothered me when the sleepy med was wearing off around 9:00. But I recognize that they have the right to have friends over and sit outside on their deck. If they had been outside screaming after 11:00, I wouldn't have been so understanding.
Last night I heard voices outside again. This time, they were close enough that I knew before looking that they were on my neighbor's porch. When people sit on her porch, the sound travels up to my bedroom window as if they were sitting on my window sill. I wasn't quite in bed yet. I looked down through my blinds at them to see if I could figure out how long they'd be there.
They were smoking cigars, so I figured they would be outside until the cigars were finished or they got too cold. No big deal. Again, it's totally reasonable for her to have guests outside on her porch on a Saturday night.
Before I moved away from the window, I noticed that body language and general stance made it appear that these were two couples. The guy who looked like he was with my neighbor was very handsome. I thought, "You go girl." Right about that time, either the other girl or the boyfriend asked my neighbor, "Which is the neighbor that you hate? The fat one?"
I was shocked. I think the formerly handsome guy standing on my neighbor's porch even said, "Hey, fat girl!" and looked over towards my house. I stepped away from the window even though I know there was no way he could have seen me.
I have been wracking my brain to figure out why my neighbor hates me. I used to have people over to my house every week. But it was never a ton of people and I know we weren't loud. We would also break up before 11:00. And I haven't done that in a year. Besides, I know for a fact that once people are inside, you can't hear anything that goes on in the other house. There's no way we disturbed her.
When my cousin lived with me I was very particular about both of us parking in the garage so that we wouldn't bother the neighbors. I got up every morning to move his car and back mine out and then put his back in the garage. It was a LOT of trouble. She can't be upset about that.
The only thing I do that is a little weird is that I get my mail when I pull in from work. Our building is right across from the mailboxes, so most people park their cars and then walk back to get their mail. But there is a parking space right in front of the mailbox. So I just pull over, jump out, get the mail and then pull in to my garage. It's a little lazy, but I don't get in anyone's way. My car is in the parking space so traffic can go by me. And I don't block people who are walking up to the mailbox.
I just don't get it. In fact, this is the neighbor that I speak to more than any other in this place. That means that I typically just say hello and wave. But just a couple of weeks ago I ran into her at the mailbox and had a short conversation about her dog. It's a little dog, the kind that I can't stand, but I was pleasant and told her it was cute anyway.
For the life of me, I can't think of why anyone would hate a "fat girl" who never makes a peep and doesn't break any community rules. Could she be annoyed that I've never invited her over? Well, sorry. She's just gonna have to deal with that. Should I ask her what I've done to offend her, explaining that since I was in my bedroom I couldn't help but overhear her and her friends?
5 Comments:
Hey lady! My first time checking out your blog, but I was saddened by this post. Don't ever judge your self worth on what random strangers (like myself, even!) think of you! Who cares what your neighbor thinks, she is not as important in your life as your friends, your family and your faith.
Don't tell her what you overheard; just ignore it, try not to dwell on it and focus on the things that are important to you. (She's not one of them.)
God bless you!
O,bother. Neighbors in apts and townhomes are way too close for comfort sometimes.
Did you hear her response to the "which neighbor" question? Maybe it's not you she hates.
Maybe the formerly handsome guy just has a hang up about girls who aren't stick skinny.
Maybe there's a million other reasons why someone would say something like that.
Maybe you are hated due to your clearly superior personality and talents.
I think maybe if you see her just mention that you were home and it "seemed like she and her friends were having a nice time on the porch the other night"... let her stew wondering if you overheard and see what her body language tells you.
I like PJune's suggestion--because mine all involve some combination of fire, dog poop, & firecrackers. Just say the word.
I also agree with what jennyf said.
Hmmm...not only are you brilliant but so are your friends!
Forget what I said! Let's all get together and do what Jules suggested!!
I agree Meredith, they may not have even been referencing you. And if they were, they don't know you, so they have no right to judge people by looks alone, it is just their insecurities rising to the surface.
You Probably have more personality in your pinky toe than they all have put together!
Ignore it, kill 'em with kindness!
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